Tuesday, September 2, 2014
So...who would have guessed? iCloud isn't secure. Really? It's a cloud, folks. Shouldn't that tell us something right away? There are no real walls, no solid steel doors with multiple locks. No twenty-four hour security cameras monitored by multiple shifts of armed guards.
It's just a friendly little "cloud" loaded with tetrabyte upon tetrabyte of information, ready to hail down on you at any given moment. Ready to experience a cloudburst. And all the thunder and lightning that go with it.
But there is hope. A bit complicated and hard to follow, however. Sort of a mysterious, difficult-to-access solution. But here it is, revealed for the first time by your humble blogger: Don't upload anything that you wouldn't want downloaded. Don't upload anything that might cause you discomfort, concern, or embarrassment in the future. Try to keep your itchy little finger off the buttons.
Especially photos, and, sticking with that genre - especially, especially selfies. Photos taken in mirrors. Photos taken by your current significant other. With extra caution if their status is about to change from "current" to "past." And, yes, dear reader, photos that show you in all the glamour and glory of your most recently acquired birthday suit.
Folks, your private parts are only private if you choose to keep them that way. So Jennifer, Kim, Ariana, Kirsten - all of you famous, fine-bodied beauties - stop taking multiple pictures of yourself half dressed or not dressed. And if snapping semi-nude or nude selfies is an uncontrollable, incurable addiction, then stop uploading them. Stop storing them in the cloud. Any cloud. Or get over the fact that everyone on this globe has now had all the mystery removed.
And if anybody else... you...or you...or you...is so inclined to flash your flesh, then understand that iCloud, that fluffy little storage warehouse in the sky, can suddenly turn into the number one distributor of iCandy.
It's sort of upload at your own risk. And, if nothing else, remember Sir Isaac Newton's age-old maxim: "What goes up, must come down." And, odd, isn't it, the folk tale connected to this quote insists that he was sitting under a tree when he came up with that little core of wisdom. That little seed of smarts. That stem of understanding.
Yep, you got it. The tree he was lounging under: none other than an Apple tree.
Ain't life great!